Farewell to Social Media

I used to think the problem was entirely my fault. I’d tell myself that maybe I didn’t have enough willpower, or I wasn’t managing my time properly, or perhaps I had simply become too attached to the online world. Because of these doubts, I tried again and again to distance myself from social networks—yet each time, I found some reason to return. But this time, it’s different. After a lot of trial and error, and various experiences, I’ve come to a deeper understanding of what the relying problem is.

From a Silly Fear to a Deeper Insight

Do you know what kept dragging me back each time? A rather silly fear: the fear of missing out (a.k.a FoMO). I worried that something important might happen and I wouldn’t know about it, or my friends might need me and I wouldn’t be there. Sometimes, I was even afraid of missing big news or losing touch with my friends’ lives and various events.

Yet every time I left and then returned, something became clearer: everyone was perfectly fine! It’s almost odd to say it, but the world keeps spinning without me being online 24/7. My friends and family go about their lives without my constant check-ins. They continue living even if I don’t watch their stories. And if something truly urgent happens, I’ll find out one way or another. It seems that the fear of missing out was more of an illusion than reality.

Remembering the Good Old Days…

Then I asked myself: why all this fear? Why was it never like this before? Why didn’t I feel like this 15 years ago?

Now, looking back, I miss the early days of the internet. Remember the era of Yahoo Chat or Yahoo 360, AOL, ISN etc? Some may be too young to recall, but we used to rush home from school, excited to explore the online world and discover new things. Back then, it felt like we owned the internet.

Now, though, it’s like we’ve become guests in a luxurious mansion run by a few giant companies. They tell us, "Come on in, it’s all free" but there’s the catch: we must let them record everything we do, control our behaviour and desires, and kick us out whenever they please. Sounds surreal, right? It’s as if we’re in a reality show that we joined willingly!

A Much Bigger Problem

But it’s not just about monitoring and control. There’s a deeper issue: human beings were never prepared to handle so much global connectivity, or rather so much data! It’s not that we lack the capacity; rather, after so many years of evolution, our brains have suddenly been thrown into an environment where we have to process massive amounts of information every day and interact with countless people, and at the same time, be perfect!

Today, almost every post is either clickbait or an extreme attempt at grabbing attention. It’s as if everyone is shouting, "Look at me!"—and they’ll do just about anything to be seen. Some even cast aside basic ethics for a handful of extra thumbs.

For instance, we’ve all heard of monopolies and their harmful effects. Let’s quickly define a couple of terms to make sure we’re on the same page:

Monopolization (Monopoly): A process in which a large company or organization, by using its economic power and operational scale, drives out smaller competitors and gains complete control of a market or industry.

Oligopoly: A market situation where a small number of large companies (usually two to five) control most of the market. Instead of genuine competition, they often form a strategic balance with each other and effectively split the market among themselves.

That’s exactly what’s happening online. The modern internet is practically controlled by five major companies: Meta, Microsoft, Google, Apple, and Amazon.

To understand this better, consider how the internet used to be about 20 years ago—like a moderately large town filled with small shops, libraries, and cafés. Many were run by individuals, and you could choose one or several of them as your personal hangouts in your spare time.

Sometimes these spaces were personal websites where people wrote and posted in their own style, or they were smaller, one-way social networks such as Yahoo 360 or AOL. Admittedly, there were various problems—like cultural differences—yet, in the end, everything revolved around individuals. Viral content didn’t exist, and competition had a meaningful purpose: people genuinely tried to showcase their expertise and spent time creating quality posts that were actually helpful!

Then one day, all of a sudden, the first hypermarket opened: Facebook. Little by little (yet surprisingly quickly), everything changed. People crowded into this one spot, and almost no one visited smaller, more personal corners of the web. Relationships took center stage, overshadowing all else.

Since then, many people who barely knew what the internet was jumped on board via these social networks, but without realizing what murky politics were lurking beneath them or how these platforms might limit their exploration of the web beyond.

At the end, everything was and is for these giants! Everything, all data, all you!

For Those Who Are Still Caught Up…

If you, like so many others, are caught in this vortex and find it tough to walk away, here’s something you should know: you’re definitely not alone! It’s about just far more than having enough willpower.

Modern social networks are specifically designed to tap into our brains. They know exactly which emotional buttons to push, or which trending photos and videos to show us, so we can’t help staying glued. That’s why walking away from them often requires more than mere determination; we need a deeper understanding of our own needs, wants, and, most importantly, our fears.

For me, quitting social media was one of the best choices I’ve ever made. I felt lost, with my phone controlling my life. I wasn’t really enjoying any hobbies, and I felt anxious most of the time. I started searching for answers and realized that my relationship with social media—and with the internet in general—had become unhealthy.

Once I left platforms that consumed my free time (mainly Instagram—I thankfully never used TikTok), I could finally focus on my studies and work, and my mental health improved significantly. I also had more time for family and friends. Plus, I felt liberated from the constant pressure to present a flawless image of myself online. Ultimately, it all came down to three key reasons for leaving social media:

Constant Distraction

Every time a notification appears, our brains are wired to respond. This triggers a cycle of endlessly checking social media instead of focusing on what truly needs doing. That perpetual distraction makes it harder to stay on track and lowers overall productivity.

Negative Effects on Mental Health

Research consistently shows that too much social media use can increase anxiety, depression, and loneliness. In addition, social media can distort reality, because people typically share only the best parts of their lives—leading others to feel inadequate or to develop unrealistic expectations.

Scientific References:

1. D. Ostic et al., “Effects of Social Media Use on Psychological Well-Being: A Mediated model,” _Frontiers in Psychology_, vol. 12, Jun. 2021
2. B. Keles, N. McCrae, and A. Grealish, “A systematic review: the influence of social media on depression, anxiety and psychological distress in adolescents,” _International Journal of Adolescence and Youth_, vol. 25, no. 1, pp. 79–93, Mar. 2019
3. Google Scholar Search

Loss of Privacy

Social media platforms collect and use large amounts of personal data, often for targeted advertising or selling to third parties. Leaving social media can help you regain control over your personal information.

A New Hope

Here’s some good news: that "good" internet is still alive! You just need to step away from a few popular apps and spend some time exploring. The digital world is much bigger than Instagram, X (Twitter), Facebook, TikTok, and the like.

If you want to embark on this journey, here’s a suggestion: start by asking yourself, "Why do I actually use social media?" Then, more importantly, "What could fill that space in my real life?"

My decision to leave social media wasn’t sudden. It was a long process that began with a simple fear and grew into a deeper understanding of how we connect with the digital world.

I also discovered some clear benefits after quitting:

Better Focus and Productivity

Without the nonstop pull of notifications and feeds, I found it easier to concentrate on important tasks and get more done.

Better Mental Health

Leaving social media can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and isolation, and help improve body image and self-confidence.

Stronger Relationships

When you’re not under constant pressure to appear perfect online, you can focus on forming meaningful connections with the people around you.

How to Quit Social Media

The journey away from social media isn't easy, but the benefits are worth it: improved focus, better mental health, and more authentic relationships. Instead of endless scrolling, explore activities that genuinely enrich your life - reading, walking, or spending quality time with loved ones.

1. Evaluate Your Current Usage
   Write down how much time you spend on each platform and what you usually do there. Identify which platforms are the biggest distractions or bring out negative emotions. Put those at the top of your list to cut back on or quit entirely.
2. Set a Clear Goal
   Choose a date to step away from social media and create a plan to meet that deadline.
3. Try a Digital Detox
   For a while, avoid non-essential technology to give your mind a break. Later, you can return with a clearer understanding of whether these tools help or harm you, and make a more informed decision on how—or if—they should fit into your life.
4. Take Small Steps
   If quitting all at once seems too intimidating, gradually reduce the time you spend on social media each day. Small, steady changes often lead to bigger, more lasting results.
5. Find Alternatives
   Instead of mindlessly scrolling through feeds, look for other activities that bring you genuine enjoyment—like reading, walking, or spending time with friends and family. While it can be tough to compete with the “dopamine hits” social platforms provide, new habits can become just as rewarding over time.

Remember, giving up social media isn’t necessarily easy, and it may take time to adjust. But by taking small steps and discovering new, healthy ways to spend your time, you can reclaim control over your life and make real, positive changes.

Recalling those early days of the internet—when freedom and discovery truly meant something—inspired me to leave this closed, repetitive environment. It might be a small step, but every big transformation begins with a single move.

From now on, my plan is to be more active on my own website and to look for smaller, more personal online communities to join.

Wishing you the best of luck!